Bleak
by XxGaarasGirlXx
Summary: Love him when he least deserves it, because that's when he most needs it. It happened merely on chance. Juugo/Hinata


Bleak

---

He was losing it. Oh, _God_, he was _losing it._

Sasuke was gone. His cage - his living, breathing cage wasn't around to stop it and he felt it coming, coming, coming -

There it was. The sickly sweet feeling of the cursed seal trickling over his skin; burning the tendons and muscles, creeping through his veins and washing over his bones like molten lava. His stomach rolled and his senses intensified to an almost painful level as every small noise, every faded scent, became too clear for him.

His body trembled and shook as the gray pattern spread, turning his eye black and gold. His hands tangled in his hair and he crouched, yelling, as he tried to gain back the self-control that had never existed. His mouth tasted metalliac and he spat on the ground, curling tighter and tighter in on himself. God, _please_...

The insatiable thirst for the kill pounded through him and he felt himself ripping apart at the seams. The blood lust was too strong a monster and he couldn't fight it back any longer, he only wished that the beautiful woman before him didn't have to suffer for accidentally stumbling into his range. She was so small and fragile looking...

Her bones would break so easily and he _wanted _to hear them snap and crack in his hands because the overbearing desire for carnage was beating him down and he couldn't stop it, didn't _want _to stop it. If she didn't retreat now, she would die, but if she did run, the thrill of the chase would only throw him running after her and there was no telling what he would do if he caught her and knocked her to the ground under him where she would be at his mercy and he could do as he pleased with her because she was so beautiful and his hands ached to touch her and tear her apart. He didn't want to hurt her, but _yes he did._

Her wide eyes, such an odd color - lavender, barely a shade shy of white, stared with raw fear at him from across the woods they stood in. He wasn't surprised that she was scared, as she should be, because he was a monster about to rip her apart and defile her in the most brutal of ways. God, why didn't she _run! _

He couldn't keep himself down anymore. He sprung at her with a maniacal laugh and crazed smile, rushing her too fast for her to give any reaction other than a yelp as he hit her with his body. Her hands grasped at his cape for balance, ripping it from him as she was flung back from the force of his attack. He stood, breathing heavily and laughing after each intake as she pushed herself to her knees.

He could see the shock leave her face and a blank facade replace it. He could see her muscles rippling beneath her flesh - _such soft flesh, ready to be torn from her bones by his hands -_ as she stood and faced him in a stance he had never seen before. He could almost hear her thoughts as she tensed. _Enemy, enemy, enemy._ Seeing her ready to fight him caused a stirring in his loins from the excitement of what was to come and he _begged _for her to lunge at him because he _wanted _it more than anything because then he could feel her around him and he could _kill _her.

Veins protruded from around her eyes and his excitement intensified. She had the Byakugan. Wonderful.

He couldn't wait any longer. Once more he came at her and it was crazy because she didn't flinch away when he got too close and instead threw out her palm and hit him square in the chest and he laughed because her small hand bounced off and he was going to grab her but it actually _stung. _Instead he stumbled back and almost cried with relief as the cursed seal retreated and he was left trembling and coated in sweat. He couldn't shake the feeling of having her hand pressed to his bare skin...

Where was Sasuke?

He ran.

She followed.

"Go away!!"

He heard her hesitate in her pursuit and for a moment he thought she would turn around and run back to safety like he desperately wished she would. She didn't. She picked up speed and tried to catch up to him. He felt the air change and knew she had jumped and was going to come down on him from above. At the last second he stopped and pivoted on a thick tree limb and crossed his forearms over his chest, blocking her shooting palms.

His stomach tingled deliciously at having her touch him and he almost leaned into her, wanting her to touch him again and again but that would make him an even sicker man.

And then he finally felt it.

The burning sensation in his arms and chest where she had hit him. What...?

"Y-you're..chakra p-points."

She saw the confusion in his eyes and then the dawning apprehension. His heart stuttered with her halted words, hearing her voice for the first time. She was so meek and small but she had dealt actual _damage _instead of just thumping her with her hands like he had thought she was doing all this time. He could hardly focus so delirious was he with emotions rushing through him.

He wished Kimimaro were here.

He fell from the tree and hit the ground hard.

* * *

Blood pouring from pale lips, ashen hands reaching toward him, _can't escape can't escape can't escape -_

"NO!"

He threw his hands out in front of him and flung himself back, trying to find some form of stability to keep him from drowning in the blood that had plagued his nightmares. Whimpering, he huddled against the cool stone wall at his back and hid his head between his knees. A cave, he realized vaguely. He was in a cave. How did he get here?

"Are y-you o-okay?"

The girl. The beautiful woman that had fought back and had stopped the want to kill was in here with him. God, didn't she understand _anything?!_

"..no," he moaned, gripping his knees harder. "I'm not okay."

He could smell her fear and it made his insides squirm with pleasure. Another part of him was devastated that she was afraid. He didn't want her to be afraid of him, but he did.

He flinched violently when her hand rested on his shoulder and she immediately jerked away while stuttering an apology. For a moment he was reminded of Karin when Suigetsu would call her out about Sasuke but then shook away the thought because Karin wasn't as pretty and soft spoken as this woman was, Karin was rough and loud, the exact opposite of the small female hovering close to him.

Her scent stung his nose and he pressed against the wall more fiercely, trying with every intention to dissolve into the rocks.

"H-here," she said quickly, and when he raised his head, she shoved a cup of steaming liquid into his hands. "D-drink this...you'll feel better."

The charred remains of a small fire _shh-_ed quietly at the entrance of the cave.

She looked away from him, staring at the ground beneath them and fiddled with the ends of her jacket with shaking fingers. His eyes roamed over her figure and dragged back to the drink in his hands. Sniffing, he could smell the medicine in it and he scrunched his nose in distaste.

"You won't get better if you don't drink it."

His ears picked up her steady, determined tone and he wondered if she had slipped him something extra in the drink. He didn't want to be poisoned. He hated being the killer he was and wished over and over and _over _that he could stop and knew that the only way for that to happen would be if he died but he was a coward. He was afraid of death.

She shifted and his red eyes immediately flitted to her face, gouging her actions. She looked sincere as she sat beside him and hesitantly pushed the liquid closer to his face.

"Please..?"

He obeyed.

His ears picked up the distant sound of rain and he looked up just in time to see the gray world outside be drenched in a shower of the sky's tears. His heart seemed to jump into his throat and plummet down to his stomach in the same instant. The girl at his side seemed to have the same reaction.

"I'm sorry," he blurted out, unable to contain the words he didn't even know he would say and was even more surprised to discover that he actually _meant _it. He was sorry she had to catch him at his worst, that she had to feel the need to pursue him, that she felt obligated to care for the enemy in a dark cave, and that she was irrevocably stuck here with him now.

He was so sorry.

Her cheeks colored deliciously and he had to quickly look away lest he press closer to her and scare her again.

"It's not your f-fault."

Oh, but it was, wasn't it? It was _his _fault he wanted to kill, it was _his_ fault he had no self control, it was _all his fault_.

He sat down the empty cup - having discovered no poison in its depths - and huddled against the wall, trying to calm down his frayed nerves. He _had _to calm himself down because if he didn't he would hurt her and he couldn't _bear it _if he did.

"W-what..." she started quietly and he screwed his eyes shut. "...what is your n-name?"

"Juugo."

He hardly recognized his own voice, so ragged and raw it was.

"Juugo," she repeated slowly, testing it on her tongue and he shivered with excitement at having her acknowledge him. "M-my name is...is Hinata."

She had willingly gave her name. Did she not know how dangerous he was? Did she not know that at any moment he could lose himself and kill her, no matter how badly he didn't want to because in the end the desire for blood was much, _much _stronger than any resolve he could even hope of conjuring up?

She was a fool.

And so was he.

Because he was enjoying her company when he shouldn't.

* * *

He had fallen asleep.

He had _fallen asleep._

But she was touching him, petting him, and it felt _so good_. Her fingers twined sweetly through his wild hair, combing it like a loving mother would do to her child and he almost salivated at the sensation. He didn't want it to end so he pretended to still be sleeping and evened his breaths so that he looked everything like the exhausted, weather beaten monster he knew he was. His head lay cradled in her lap with one of her small hands supporting his cheek, keeping his head from rolling to the stone floor and his body curled into a fetal position at her side.

His fingers tingled where one of his hands rested on her thigh.

She continued to brush her fingers through his coarse locks and hummed softly under her breath a quiet, sad melody he didn't recognize. He felt his bones melt and he had never felt so _in control before _and it seemed like he would never feel that urge to murder again. When had ever felt a sense of serenity such as this? Never.

He would have fallen asleep once more on her warm lap and her comforting voice whispering in his head had it not been for her trailing fingers. His heart seized up in his chest and he fought to keep his eyes closed as her soft, nimble digits drew a path from his temple to his jaw, searing the skin in her wake. It took everything he had not to press his face into her open palm and beg her to continue touching him like he wasn't a killing monster. He was _scared._

Her curious hands traced faint past scars and the curves of his face, gently ghosting over his closed eye lids and running over his nose to his lips. His heart hammered painfully in his chest, his head pleading for her not to stop while another part of him desperately wished she would because she was giving him something he had always wanted but knew he didn't deserve.

When her fingers trailed across his lips, not touching them but close enough to where he could feel the heat from her skin, his mouth parted the slightest and he breathed in her taste and felt it coat his tongue in a bone-jarring shock and he was left quaking in her lap, unable to stop himself from giving up the fictitious sleep. He barely heard her sharp intake of breath, the melody long since forgotten during her exploration and she bent over his face as her hands fisted into his hair.

"J-Juugo? What's wrong?"

He twisted in her hold and groaned loudly. He didn't know if he wanted her to let him go or keep holding on but he turned and pressed his face into her stomach and wrapped his arms around her small waist. It seemed unreal to him that she could be so small, like a bird caught in his vicious clutches and he didn't want to let her go.

She might fly away...

"Juugo, what are you doing?" she wriggled in his hold and he held her tighter, his heart wrenching painfully behind his ribs. "Juugo!"

Her moving in his arms like that and talking in that scared voice was too much for him, his mind seemed to seep through the cracks once more and he could feel the slightest prickle from the cursed mark threatening to overtake him once more. He didn't want that to happen because Hinata - his heart stuttered at the thought of her name - would be hurt and that would be too much pain.

_Toomuchtoomuchtoomuch..._

"Juugo! What's happening!"

She sounded so scared, so afraid and alone just like himself that his blood pounded in his veins and obscured his thinking and turned everything murky and slow and he didn't want to drown in this, in her _scent_, but he could feel himself slipping fast but he _didn't want this to happen!_

"Hit me! Make it _stop! Kill me! Kill me!"_

He forcefully retracted his arms and scrambled away from her in a futile attempt to prolong the impending death. God, not her. Anyone but her. She had been so nice to him, treated him like he was human.

And now he was going to kill her and he knew that the bloodthirsty side of him would enjoy it but he would regret his actions later and he would be eaten from the inside out with guilt. Oh, _noooo._

The gray print scorched his skin as it crept over his neck and body and he writhed on the floor, trying to fight it off but knowing it was inevitable because he was a _killer_. His fingers scraped the hard ground beneath him and bled onto the rocks when the jagged edges of stones ripped the skin off the tips and he reveled in the pain because it let him focus for a moment.

In the end it didn't help and only served in giving him the sudden clarity of the hopelessness hovering in the small cave and a crazed laugh bubbled to his lips.

She threw herself on him.

He was so shocked that the laugh died on his lips and all he could do was stare in total silence down at the long haired beauty sprawled on top of him with her tiny hands pinning his wrists to the floor at his sides as she pressed her nose into his chest and screamed at him to _just stop!_

"H-Hina..." he gasped out between ragged breaths, trying to say her name.

"S-stop this, Juugo! Stop!"

God,her blood would be _delicious..._

Her head lifted as he shook violently under her and a raw, guttural noise of pain forcefully clawed from his throat and chilled him to his bones because he couldn't believe that such a _feral _noise had come from him and he couldn't stop it from coming out again and again. His wild eyes rolled and locked onto hers and he pleaded silently for her to just _kill _him, make it end already.

"Juugo."

Her voice was shaky but firm as she called his name in an attempt to draw him back from the murderous blackness prowling in his blood and quickly overcoming him and he shivered for a very different reason underneath her. She was demanding him with her meek voice and she was calm as she straddled him now and refused to tear her eyes away from his.

It was like Kimimaro all over again. It was like Sasuke controlling him.

"Juugo, stop this."

A broken and dry sob coughed from his mouth as the killing urge left and he lay panting on the stone ground with the pretty girl still holding him down and her eyes still holding his and watching as the cursed seal disappeared back to where it came from. He held her eyes, wishing and wanting so many things at once it was _painful _and his skin became hyper sensitive feeling her against his bare torso.

"...I'm sorry..."

It's all that he could think of to say, it's all that he _could _say. What more could he do?

Her arms trembled and he felt the vibrations shoot through his system. Oh, _God_. If she didn't get off of him right then, he would end up flipping their positions and who knows what would happen then? He couldn't allow it even though he desperately wanted to. He wanted to get as close to her as he could. His eyes drooped and he gazed up at her with half-lidded eyes.

She shook again, and the rain seemed to pound more fiercely outside.

* * *

"Is that a curse mark?"

He hesitated. "...yes."

"Oh."

He glanced at her from the corner of his eye. "Why are you here?"

She look startled as she turned to look at him. "I-I..um, it's-..ah, m-my-" she shook her head and looked down, taking a deep breath as she did so. "I'm on a mission." she finally said, though he knew she was leaving the details out on purpose. After all, he was an enemy, wasn't he? However if she didn't see him as one, still, he was someone she couldn't trust. He understood.

He decided to change the subject, knowing that she would get uncomfortable if the silence dragged on after her short answer. "How do you know about curse marks?"

She seemed relieved the for the change of topics but still wary. "A boy from our village was infected with one. At least, that's what I've h-heard from the villagers." she said quietly, stuttering only when she was unsure of her words.

He fought back the needy feeling for attention at hearing her so vulnerable. "You said 'our'. You're not alone?"

She shook her head and a prick of anxiety fluttered in his gut. "There are more of us, but I got separated from them and..." she trailed quietly, eyes flickering to his before quickly looking away.

He grunted in acknowledgment and turned his head away with sad eyes. She would be with her team right now if he hadn't screwed it up. She would be _safe._ Still, he couldn't feel too sad at the prospect because he was selfish and he wanted her to stay with him.

He was messed up.

"Why are you here?"

"...I can't remember."

Truthfully, he did know and he was only being vague to protect her. If she knew that he was scouting the area while Sasuke, Karin and Suigetsu rested miles back in a hideout tending to their wounds and resting up, she might be in danger for knowing too much. Though his bloodlust and called for her death hours before, twice, he didn't want to see her get hurt.

But she accepted his answer without argument and settled more comfortably against the wall at their backs. He leaned forward and rested his chin on his knees and wrapped his arms around them, covering his face from the nose down. His eyes stared out the mouth of the cave, wondering what would happen when the rain stopped, when the storm moved on. What then? He didn't want her to go...

A few minutes later she slumped against his side and he resisted the immediate reflex to flinch away. Instead, his eyes stared down at her as she curled into his side and fisted a small hand into the fabric of his pants at his thigh. His stomach flipped. He didn't know how much more of this he could take.

* * *

When she awoke it was well into the night and the storm was still raging on the outside like an insistent being banging on the walls of the cave. He didn't know if he should be grateful to Mother Nature or curse her for his bad luck. He knew he the possibility of making it anywhere in the storm was unlikely given that the paths would be too slick, the trees too dangerous to navigate in, and eyesight limited. It was hazardous.

"They sky's tears are beautiful."

He turned his head and found the woman staring out the cave's entrance much like he had been doing, her eyes glittering in the low light and gazing lovingly at the pouring drops of liquid and she looked so beautiful. His hands burned with the want and need to touch her in _some way. _

So he did.

His hand lifted slowly to the side of her face, gently touching her soft cheek with his fingertips to get her attention and when she turned to him her eyes seemed to look straight through him to the center of his being. Never had he felt so exposed, never had he felt so completely stripped of everything he tried to protect himself from as her eyes looked up at him expectantly with hardly a glint of fear in their depths. Just...patience, and hesitant pleading.

She was like a magnet drawing him in. Denying it would have been intolerable, unthinkable, and completely against physics because once a positive - _her, the angel -_ called for the negative - _him, the monster_ - there _was_ no refusing. There was only giving in to the strong desires of meeting that charge of energy immediately lest he break apart into numerous unstable atoms on the verge of exploding. It was simply _crucial _that he follow the basic fundamental laws of the world and be dragged in without struggle.

And he did just that as she pushed herself to her knees and met him halfway.

His lips pressed to hers in a gentle, breathtaking kiss that made him shudder and press closer against her small body. Her lips were so soft and delicate and _accepting_ beneath his and he tilted his head to kiss her more effectively and he _swore_ he could hear himself falling into a deep, black hole of no return and he _didn't care_. This feeling that was flowing through him made him feel like it was okay to fall into that hole, that it was okay to have this intimate moment with her, and it was okay that he wasn't thinking about anything else but _HinataHinataHinata..._

His hands cupped her cheeks and he pulled her into his lap, refusing to let her go as he turned the innocent kiss into something more, something that should have been dangerous but it wasn't and he _wanted _it and...and...

He couldn't think straight. His lips moved against hers in a slow, sensual dance that was dark and seductive and full of hidden promises that had Hinata quaking in his lap and placing her hands open-palmed on his sculpted chest for stability. He couldn't believe that she wanted this just as much as he did.

How was that possible?

He blamed the rain.

His fingers tangled in her hair as one hand traveled the length of her back and rested on the top of her thigh. Her legs flexed nervously around his thighs where she straddled them, hands rising to fist into his ginger locks and holding tightly as his tongue swept the seam of her lips before sucking on her bottom lip gently. She pulled away from him then and his heartbeat thrashed wildly in his chest as his eyes opened and saw her flushed face and heaving shoulders.

"Hinata...?"

She didn't respond at first, too busy was she with gulping in lungfuls of air, and he wasn't sure of what he was trying to say anyway, or if he had simply said her name just to be saying it. Her fingers flexed at the nape of his neck, forcefully tilting his head back the slightest and his breath hitched. He dropped his hand from her face on reflex and stilled, trying not to spook her.

His body was _burning._

Outside a loud crack of lightening blinded the sky followed by an ominous rumble of thunder. The sudden noise startled Hinata, making her jump, and Juugo almost leaped out of his skin as she rocked against him. He panted and screwed his eyes shut - his head lowered so she couldn't see his face.

"I-I'm sorry!" she apologized frantically, scrambling from his lap and huddling at his side. He swallowed the disappointment rising in him and felt it settle heavily on his chest. Hinata's small hands flitted around him worriedly as she tried to find a wound that had caused him to show such a painful face.

He would have found the situation amusing had it not been for the fact that his hands itched to hold her again. But the moment was over.

"I'm sorry..." she murmured miserably, settling next to him and leaning all her weight on his side. He closed his eyes and leaned into her, too, seeking any kind of comfort from her he could get. Any kind of comfort.

Silence settled between them, occasionally interrupted by the crack of lightening and hissing of the rain, and he actually felt calm instead of teetering on the line between losing it and handling it. He sighed heavily and slumped against the wall, a twitch of his lips teasing his mouth that was the closest he'd come to smiling in a _very _long time.

Hinata said something in a quiet voice at his side.

"Hmm?" He tilted his head down to her and looked curiously expectant as she met his eyes before looking away again. Her fingers twiddled around each other and he couldn't help but think she looked so _damn cute_ like that.

"That...what just happened, i-it..."

A cold feeling gripped his stomach. Did she think it was a mistake? Did he force her? No, he _knew _he didn't because he could feel how much she wanted him, too. But she still looked so hurt and he didn't want that. He didn't want her to look so forlorn avoiding his eyes and keeping her head ducked out of his field of vision.

"That was my...my first k-kiss."

He said not one word.

She looked up at him with bright eyes and a smile tugging on her lips, nervous nature shining through her expressive features. Her hand reached out and rested on his bicep and her cheeks flushed red at the bold and forward move, something she was never capable of doing before. She was just shy, quiet Hinata. Not a bold, demanding, stoic Hyuuga.

He felt...happy?...to know that he was her first kiss, even a little prideful. He might be a crazed killing machine that had a blood thirst raging through his body at inopportune moments, but underneath all that insanity, he was still _male _and so he couldn't help the small inflation of his ego at discovering this information. He hoped that she liked it as much as he did and that she would allow him to do it again because he desperately _wanted _to among other things.

He shook his head and cleared his thoughts before leaning down and resting his forehead to hers. "Should I apologize?"

"I d-don't...want you to."

He gave her the slightest of smiles. "Neither do I."

He kissed her so softly, brushing his lips over hers in the barest of movements and letting it say more than his words ever could. He made to move away, not wanting to make her nervous but was stopped when she pushed forward and melded her lips to his and drawing him back into the kiss he had started. He didn't complain.

This time when he flicked his tongue over her lips she imperceptibly parted them. His tongue skimmed delicately under first her bottom lip and then her top before forcing past her teeth. He felt her tense in front of him and he wrapped his arms around her, drawing her closer and tilting his head in a way that allowed him new access and the opportunity to completely map out the entireity of her mouth with raw and fervid movements.

In seconds she was all but melted in his arms and showed no signs of resistance and he had never felt so _alive._

* * *

They wouldn't meet each others' eye, knowing what would be seen and not wanting to go through the pain and regret that would follow. The rain had stopped and they would part soon in the early morning's light. It had been inevitable from the start and yet the knowledge of this didn't lessen the blow at all. His stomach knotted uncomfortably and his hands flexed and unflexed at his sides. Vaguely he wondered what would tell Sasuke when asked about his missing cloak and where he had been all this time.

A bird flitted above him and landed carefully on his shoulder. His eyes looked at it and he nodded respectively to the fowl, watching out of the corner of his eye as Hinata glanced up and looked at the bird in wonder.

"Why is it d-doing that?"

His eyes finally met hers and a sharp pain shot through his chest. "...I'm not sure. They seem to like me for some reason."

She walked up to him carefully and reached out her hand to the bird who promptly hopped onto her fingers and eyed her quizzically with a tilt of it's cardinal head. Hinata smiled wistfully and copied the nod she had seen him do showing respect.

When the bird leaped from her finger and flew away, her eyes followed it for a moment before dropping back to him and locking gazes. Her hand came up and between them and cupped his jaw and he leaned into her touch, letting his eyelids droop with contempt. _Why did she have to go...?_

She seemed to be asking him the same question with her ever expressive eyes and it pained him that he couldn't follow her, couldn't take her with him, even. But that was just as impossible as never leaving the cave. Both had teammates wondering about them and places to be and missions to fulfill even if one was more righteous than the other.

"Will...um, I..."

He swallowed thickly and waited patiently for her to find the words for her question.

"Juugo? Will I ever s-see you again?"

He didn't even have to think about it. He would do anything everything if only to see her face once more after this painful departure.

"If you wish."

As an answer she stood on her tip-toes and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. This time, he was the one that stopped her from pulling away and he kissed her tenderly and invadingly, effectively fogging her mind and leaving her trembling where she stood in a turmoil of delicious emotions.

"I _will _see you again." he promised and backed away.

They both turned and fled where such wonderful haunting memories had taken place, each cradling a burning and needy desperateness close to their chest that would only ease when back in each others' arms. He knew he wouldn't be the same after this, after finding someone so beautiful and sweet and calm and caring and able to _control _his murderous actions, it was a miracle his knees hadn't given out from the euphoric feeling shooting through him.

Oh, yes. He would see her again so that he could explore this intense feeling of passion coursing through his system and satiate the carnal instincts demanding attention. What was even more exciting was knowing she felt the same, knowing that she would be waiting for him to find her with eager eyes and open arms.

Arms that were only for him. Eyes that were only for him. Lips that were only for him. A heart that _is only for him. _

* * *

**So how was that? I've never written for Juugo before and when I watched the episodes with him in it, I immediately started tossing around fanfic ideas. I didn't want him to be with Sakura only because everyone is ALWAYS paired with Sakura. So I tried to figure out which girl would be good and, of course, Hinata popped up. Well, Hinata is always paired with everyone too, but less so than Sakura. Not saying that I don't like Sakura pairings 'cause I do! Anyway, please let me know what you thought!**


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